I Know Why I’m Brown

An ancestral discovery

Tanya
9 min readJun 13, 2021
Photo by Glen Anthony on Unsplash

Back in January of this year, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery.

You can read about that in the link below:

You see, in all of my forty-something years, I have had a multitude of identity challenges that I have not yet been able to meet head on.

I haven’t been able to answer questions about why my skin is somewhat brown, and why I do not have stereotypically ‘English’ features. And it may surprise you to know that I’ve been asked those kinds of questions a lot.

I have also suffered a very real sense of not belonging anywhere.

I’m not white and I’m not black … and I have not known to which culture(s) I can attribute my somewhere-in-between-ness.

I experienced something that I can only describe as intense othering, growing up in an almost exclusively white community of the UK.

Upon leaving home to attend University in my late teens, I moved to a much more cosmopolitan city where I was happy and even relieved to find other…

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Tanya

BA (hons), mother, mixed race, feminist, spiritual, INFJ (undiagnosed neurodivergent)